Listen Up, America!
The solution to your problems has plopped right in your lap. Mama is running for president!
Discover How President Thelma Harper would handle:
• Immigration—I’ll tell you how we solve the problem at our border: build senior citizen housing all along the American side. No one sees more than a nosy old lady peeking through her window blinds.
• Emergency Preparedness—Emergency response should be in the hands of the experts who have the resources and determination to respond quickly. I’m talking about Domino’s and Pizza Hut.
• Airport Security—As long as we have to take our shoes off, I will install a shoe-buffing brush inside the X-ray machine so your shoes will get a little shine as they go through.
• Animals—If I have a dog at the White House, I will have it spayed or neutered to control its sex drive, which is something that might have been a good idea for some of our previous presidents.
Thelma Harper is running for president, and the free world will never be the same!
Buy this funny books for $1.99 today.
Click here to purchase Mama for President
Mother Night is a daring challenge to our moral sense. American Howard W. Campbell, Jr., a spy during World War II, is now on trial in Israel as a Nazi war criminal. But is he really guilty? In this brilliant book rife with true gallows humor, Vonnegut turns black and white into a chilling shade of gray with a verdict that will haunt us all.
Buy this novel by Kurt Vonnegut for only $1.99 today. Audiobook: $1.99.
Click here to purchase Mother Night
A hilarious expose of the secret lives of unicorns, based on the popular online comic!
In Unicorn Being a Jerk, author/illustrator C.W. Moss reveals – through approximately 55 colorful illustrations and accompanying captions – that unicorns are not the majestic creatures we think they are but are in fact jerks who’s petty, selfish antics include stomping on children’s sandcastles, feeding pigs to bacon, and parking in handicap spots at the mall.
This humor book will be required reading for all those unsuspecting unicorn fans out there who will come face to face with the ugly reality of this mythical creature. Buy it today for only 99 cents.
Click here to purchase Unicorn Being a Jerk
The Sherlock Holmes Book, the latest in DK’s award-winning Big Ideas Simply Explained series, tackles the most “elementary” of subjects–the world of Sherlock Holmes, as told by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
The Sherlock Holmes Book is packed with witty illustrations, clear graphics, and memorable quotes that make it the perfect Sherlock Holmes guide, covering every case of the world’s greatest detective, from A Study in Scarlet to The Adventure of Shoscombe Old Place, placing the sorties in a wider context. Stories include at-a-glance flowcharts that show how Holmes reaches his conclusions through deductive reasoning, and character guides provide handy reference for readers and an invaluable resource for fans of the Sherlock Holmes films and TV series.
A must for all Sherlock Holmes fan, this book is selling for $1.99 today.
Click here to purchase The Sherlock Holmes Book
Bjorn is a compulsive, meticulous bureaucrat who discovers a secret room at the government office where he works–a secret room that no one else in his office will acknowledge. When Bjorn is in his room, what his co-workers see is him standing by the wall and staring off into space looking dazed, relaxed, and decidedly creepy.
Bjorn’s bizarre behavior eventually leads his co-workers to try and have him fired, but Bjorn will turn the tables on them with help from his secret room.
This humorous book is selling for $1.99 today.
Click here to purchase The Room
He was a gentle dreamer whose genial bearded visage was recognized around the world, but most people got to know him only through the iconic characters born of his fertile imagination: Kermit the Frog, Bert and Ernie, Miss Piggy, Big Bird. The Muppets made Jim Henson a household name, but they were just part of his remarkable story.
An up-close look at the charmed life of a legend, Jim Henson gives the full measure to a man whose joyful genius transcended age, language, geography, and culture—and continues to beguile audiences worldwide. Buy this biography today for only $1.99.
Click here to purchase Jim Henson: The Biography
Like Kofi Annan, Larry Miller is one of the most irresistible comic personalities working today. Known for years as an actor, writer, comedian, and sexual pioneer, he’s gained a new following as a cultural commentator and frequent guest on political shows. Now, in Spoiled Rotten America, he fixes his gaze on what’s funny about our daily lives—which includes, roughly speaking, everything.
Ultimately, though, Spoiled Rotten America is more than just the average yukfest. It’s an insightful, and surprisingly heartfelt, plea for us to notice what’s best and worst about ourselves.
Buy this book today for only 99 cents.
Click here to purchase Spoiled Rotten America
Prime Day Cometh!
Clear the calendar, call in sick, set the alarm and drink caffeinated beverages. You don’t want to miss a minute of the great deals on Prime Day 2016, Tuesday, July 12.
Then again, if it is like last year’s Prime Day, there may not be much to generate excitement.
Amazon is doing a better job of setting expectations this year by issuing this notice:
Prime Day Spotlight Deals feature top brands and popular items with deep discounts that last until we run out of stock. These are the best deals you’ll find on Prime Day.
A Lightning Deal is a promotion that lasts for a short time, usually just a few hours. When a Lightning Deal is available, you’ll see this on the product page:
• A status bar indicator showing the percentage of items held by others.
• A timer showing how long you have to add the deal to your Cart.
You can set a reminder for an upcoming Lightning Deal by adding a push notification in your smartphone’s Amazon App
If all items are held by others (the status bar indicator shows “100% claimed”), you can sign up for the waiting list by clicking the Join Waitlist button, if there is an open slot available in the waitlist. You’ll be notified on your Smartphone when you can claim an item if it becomes available.
Prime Savings and Deals are promotions that run all day or within Prime Day. When you browse the Prime Day Deals page for Prime Member promotions, click the See Details button to view the discount amount. When you add an item to your cart and check out, the discount is applied in the checkout page.
Whatever Prime Day is this year, we’ll be here and will let you know if we find any great deals. We will analyze the event on the next Housekeeping, too.
Stop moving the page!
I was ready to rant and rave about the practice Amazon had implemented this week when every webpage in the Kindle Store shifted upward before the loading was complete. Did any of you experience the herky-jerky movement? The page would load as normal then shift upward to hide the search and advertising ribbons at the top. As I write this, the page is shifting upward to hide the advertising ribbon, but still showing the navigational ribbon.
The irritating thing is the jerky movement – the page loads, the page jumps and my eyes have to adjust. Annoying, that’s what it is.
I’m not sure what Amazon is trying to accomplish, moving the page up does not provide any additional valuable information for me.
Do any of you have ideas why it happens? Is this something that helps folks on mobile devices or tablets?
This is the webpage I have seen for forever:
The view that I was getting as I type this (no advertising ribbon at the top):
The view that I was getting earlier this week (no advertising or search ribbon at the top):
A Cheap Read for Grammar Police
This fun book is one mis-statement, typo, or grammar disaster after another. You will laugh, groan and proofread your next email at least twice after reading what others have done. Check out the list of actual book titles in the description below. Buy this today for only 99 cents.
Stupidest Things Ever Said (Just 99 cents) Not just stupidity, but obsessive stupidity! Not just random stupidity, but organized stupidity! Here, from the celebrated collectors of the stupidest things ever said, it’s the créme de la créme of stupidities, made even funnier and more compelling in an irresistible top 10 list format. Like this one:
The Top 10 Stupidest Actual Book Titles:
1. A Toddler’s Guide to the Rubber Industry
2. Constipation and our Civilization
3. Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers 4. The Secret of Sphincters
5. A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating
6. Life and Laughter ’midst the Cannibals
7. Be Bold With Bananas
8. Hand-Grenade Throwing as a College Sport
9. Collect Fungi on Stamps
10. A Study of Hospital Waiting Lists in Cardiff, 1953–1954
Plus lost-in-translation moments. Doubles entendrés. Political speeches, foreign menus, traffic signs. Celebrities on literature, on homelessness, on revealing too much about themselves. Mangled clichés and bizarre analogies, the wit of the witless and comedy of the clueless—never before have so many said something so dumb, now in one book.
When Judy Van Brunt finally decides to leave her cheating husband, she makes immediate plans to quit her teaching job, take the money she inherited from her mother, and run off, leaving a note on her husband’s pillow. There is only one problem: Where is she going?
During her weekly riding lesson, her instructor makes a suggestion just crazy enough to work—and before she knows it, Judy has a position as a groom at an exclusive North Carolina horse farm.
Set against the alternately glamorous and grimy world of competitive horse shows, Horseplay is a jubilant ride.
Buy this humorous novel today for only $1.99.
Click here to purchase Horseplay
Sarina Mahler thinks she has her life all nailed down: a growing architecture practice in Austin, Texas, and an any-day-now proposal from her loving boyfriend, Noah. She’s well on her way to having the family she’s hoped for since her mother’s death ten years ago.
But with Noah on a temporary assignment abroad and retired Olympic swimmer—and former flame—Eamon Roy back in town asking her to renovate his new fixer-upper, Sarina’s life takes an unexpected turn. Eamon proves to be Sarina’s dream client, someone who instinctively trusts every one of her choices—and Sarina is reminded of all the reasons she was first drawn to him back in the day.
Suddenly her carefully planned future with Noah seems a little less than perfect. And when tragedy strikes, Sarina is left reeling. With her world completely upended, she is forced to question what she truly wants in life—and in love.
Buy this women’s novel for only $1.99 today.
Click here to purchase The One That Got Away